AI DOESN’T NEED YOU ANYMORE
Machines politely asking if you still want your job, purely as a formality
EconomyEconomy
Where numbers are made up and the points don’t matter. Your daily dose of economic anxiety.
ECONOMY BOOMING, JUST DON’T LOOK AT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
Experts insist the economy is thriving, provided you never check your own finances
Economy
EconomyMONEY NOW GROWS ON TREES (BUT ONLY FOR BILLIONAIRES)
Newly discovered species of currency-bearing tree refuses to sprout in ordinary yards
EconomyMONEY NOW OFFICIALLY WORTHLESS
Economists suggest trading in hopes and dreams instead, effective immediately
EconomySTOCK MARKET POWERED BY WISHFUL THINKING
New algorithm just guesses, still outperforms experts by a comfortable margin
EconomyBITCOIN REVEALED AS ELABORATE PRANK
Creator says “I can’t believe you fell for it” before vanishing again
EconomyINFLATION SOLVED BY PRINTING MORE MONEY
What could possibly go wrong? asks nation about to find out
EconomyBANKS NOW CHARGING TO HOLD YOUR MONEY
Also charging you not to hold it, in a stunning display of range
EconomyGDP NOW MEASURED IN VIBES
Economy feeling pretty good about itself, experts report a solid amount of energy
EconomyRECESSION CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST
Economists confused but relieved as downturn quietly fails to draw a crowd