ECONOMY BOOMING, JUST DON’T LOOK AT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
Experts insist the economy is thriving, provided you never check your own finances
MONEY NOW OFFICIALLY WORTHLESS
Economists suggest trading in hopes and dreams instead, effective immediately
Economists have declared money officially worthless, recommending citizens transition to a new economy based on hopes, dreams, and the occasional firm handshake.
“Money was always a shared hallucination,” explained one economist, setting fire to a stack of bills for warmth. “We’re simply upgrading to a more honest hallucination. Your dreams, for instance, are now legal tender, though the exchange rate is brutal.”
Banks have begun accepting deposits of raw optimism, which they say is currently overvalued.
