The Fine Print
The one page on this site where we are contractually obligated to tell the truth.
Satire Disclaimer
TrustUs News is a satirical publication. Every article, headline, quote, statistic, expert, spokesperson, award, and endorsement on this site is fictional and created for entertainment. Any resemblance to real events is coincidental, and any resemblance to real people is limited to public figures being satirized in ways that no reasonable reader would mistake for fact. Nothing here is news, advice, or information of any kind. The anchor, regrettably, is real.
Corrections
Spotted an inaccuracy? Everything here is inaccurate. Formal retraction demands can be filed via the button at the bottom of any article; they are reviewed by our legal department, which is Ron. To date, every demand has been denied and, in most cases, eaten.
Terms of Service
By reading this site you agree that: (1) you understand it is fiction; (2) you will not base financial, medical, legal, or romantic decisions on our "reporting"; (3) all content is provided as-is, with exactly the level of warranty you would expect from a publication with our name.
Privacy Policy
We collect as little as possible. If you subscribe to the newsletter, your email address is processed by Buttondown (see their privacy policy) and used only to send you the newsletter; unsubscribe anytime via the link in any email. Site analytics use Cloudflare Web Analytics, which is cookieless and does not track you across sites. We do not sell, rent, or trade any personal data — we only fabricate the news, not your consent.
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Interested in placing your brand next to completely fabricated news? Bold. Email [email protected].
Contact
Tips, complaints, and sightings of Ron at his other job: [email protected]. We read everything and verify nothing.