The Fine Print
The one page on this site where we are contractually obligated to tell the truth.
Satire Disclaimer
TrustUs News is a satirical publication. Every article, headline, quote, statistic, expert, spokesperson, award, and endorsement on this site is fictional and created for entertainment. Any resemblance to real events is coincidental, and any resemblance to real people is limited to public figures being satirized in ways that no reasonable reader would mistake for fact. Nothing here is news, advice, or information of any kind.
Terms of Service
By reading this site you agree that: (1) you understand it is fiction; (2) you will not base financial, medical, legal, or romantic decisions on our "reporting"; (3) the "Fabricate-a-Headline" tool produces machine-generated jokes, not statements of fact, and we may rate-limit or refuse requests; (4) all content is provided as-is, with exactly the level of warranty you would expect from a publication with our name.
Privacy Policy
We collect as little as possible. If you subscribe to the newsletter, your email address is processed by Buttondown (see their privacy policy) and used only to send you the newsletter; unsubscribe anytime via the link in any email. Site analytics use Cloudflare Web Analytics, which is cookieless and does not track you across sites. The daily poll stores your vote in your own browser's localStorage and never sends it to us. The Fabricate tool sends the topic you type to our server and an AI provider to generate a headline; topics are not stored. We do not sell, rent, or trade any personal data — we only fabricate the news, not your consent.
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