CELEBRITY DOES NORMAL THING, WORLD SHOCKED
Sources confirm they also breathe oxygen and occasionally blink
EntertainmentEntertainment
Celebrity gossip, movie reviews, and other distractions from actual problems.
SEEKING NEW ANCHORMAN TO LEAD LIVE NEWS COVERAGE FOR TRUSTUS NEWS
Must have strong jaw, convincing voice, and flexible relationship with truth
Entertainment
EntertainmentNEW MOVIE JUST 3 HOURS OF EXPLOSIONS
Critics call it “best plot in years”; no plot was located
EntertainmentREALITY TV STAR DISCOVERS REALITY
Immediately tries to escape back to TV, files complaint with the universe
EntertainmentMUSICIAN MAKES MUSIC, FANS CONFUSED
Expected more drama, less actual art; refunds demanded on principle
EntertainmentREMAKE OF REMAKE ANNOUNCED
Hollywood officially out of ideas since 1987, doubles down anyway
EntertainmentINFLUENCER INFLUENCES NO ONE
Still makes millions somehow, baffling economists and grandparents alike
EntertainmentAWARD SHOW AWARDS ITSELF AWARD
Recursion error crashes universe; ceremony celebrated for its courage