REMAKE OF REMAKE ANNOUNCED

Hollywood has announced a bold new project: a remake of a remake of a film that was itself a reboot, a decision studio executives are calling “visionary” and everyone else is calling “September’s.”

“Why risk an original idea when we can recycle a recycling of a recycling?” asked one producer. “Audiences crave the comfort of something they’ve technically already seen three times.”

Industry historians confirm Hollywood officially ran out of ideas in 1987 and has been running on fumes and nostalgia ever since.