ECONOMY BOOMING, JUST DON’T LOOK AT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
Experts insist the economy is thriving, provided you never check your own finances
GDP NOW MEASURED IN VIBES
Economy feeling pretty good about itself, experts report a solid amount of energy
Officials have announced that Gross Domestic Product will now be measured in vibes, a new metric they say better reflects how the economy “really feels, deep down.”
“The numbers were stressing everyone out,” explained an economist. “So now we just gauge the general energy. This quarter the economy is giving ‘cautiously optimistic Sunday afternoon.’ Strong showing.”
The switch has been praised by everyone who found math upsetting and criticized by everyone who found feelings upsetting.
