AUSTRALIA CONFIRMS IT’S UPSIDE DOWN

After years of speculation, Australia has officially confirmed that it is, geographically, completely upside down, a revelation that has baffled scientists and mildly amused everyone who lives there.

“Yeah, we’re upside down. Been that way ages,” said one resident, casually defying several laws of physics. “You get used to the blood rushing to your head. Great for the complexion.”

Researchers remain unsure how anyone stays on the ground and have politely asked Australia to “not think about it too hard.”