NEW “TRUTH TAX” PASSED, YOU’LL THANK US LATER

Lawmakers have unanimously passed the landmark Truth Tax, a bold new levy charging citizens a small fee every time they insist on being factually correct in public. Officials say the revenue will fund important initiatives, which they declined to specify, citing the tax.

“Honesty has always been free, and frankly that was the problem,” explained one senator. “By putting a modest price on being right, we encourage people to consider whether they really need to be.”

The bill passed with overwhelming support from everyone who has never once been correct about anything.