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BITCOIN INVENTOR REVEALED AS TIME TRAVELER
Satoshi returns from 2087 to warn us about central bank digital tyranny
The mysterious inventor of Bitcoin has finally been unmasked as a time traveler from the year 2087, arriving in a shower of sparks to deliver a cryptic warning and immediately ask about the price.
“I came back to save you from a dystopian future,” Satoshi reportedly announced. “Also, did it hit a million yet? No? Ah. I may have miscalculated the timeline. This is awkward.”
The traveler then vanished, leaving behind only a whitepaper and a lingering sense that the future is also mostly just guessing.
