METS CLOSER'S ENTRANCE MUSIC NOW LEGALLY CLASSIFIED AS A WEATHER EVENT
National Weather Service confirms the trumpet blare causes barometric pressure drops in a five-mile radius of Citi Field.
The National Weather Service issued a rare joint statement with Major League Baseball this week confirming that the entrance music of a star closer for a New York ballclub now meets the technical definition of a 'localized atmospheric disturbance,' triggering automatic small-craft advisories on the nearby river every time he jogs in from the bullpen.
'We've seen flocks of pigeons change migratory patterns, we've seen loose napkins achieve escape velocity,' said meteorologist Denise Farrow, who has been assigned full-time to monitor the phenomenon. 'At this point we're less worried about save percentage and more worried about whether we need to evacuate the upper deck.' Season ticket holders in the affected zone are reportedly being issued ponchos and earplugs at no extra charge.
Team officials insist the closer himself remains unbothered by the scientific classification, noting he has simply started warming up ten minutes earlier to allow the pressure system time to stabilize before first pitch. League officials, meanwhile, are quietly investigating whether the associated crowd noise now qualifies for federal disaster relief funding, or at the very least, its own Doppler radar callsign.
