MORTGAGE RATE HITS 6.66%, HOMEBUYERS ADVISED TO BRING SAGE, NOT JUST A DOWN PAYMENT
The 30-year fixed rate touches the number of the beast, and the housing market finally admits what it's always been.
The average 30-year fixed mortgage rate climbed to 6.66 percent this week, a level analysts are calling 'the highest in a year' and clergy are calling 'concerning.' Realtors nationwide report a sudden spike in clients requesting closings be performed at midnight, under a full moon, with a priest present in addition to the notary. 'We used to just check credit scores,' said one loan officer. 'Now we're checking for cloven hoofprints on the application.'
Ron Rugundy delivered the news with the solemnity of a man who has seen the abyss and it was amortized over 30 years. 'The number of the beast has come for your starter home,' he intoned, mustache trembling. In the field, TrustUs cameras captured a first-time buyer lighting sage in her future foyer while her mortgage broker chanted amortization tables in a low, unsettling monotone. Economist Diane Yield attempted to inject some calm into the segment. 'There's no demon,' she explained. 'It's just the bond market. Which, granted, demands sacrifice.' Ron leaned into the camera. 'That is exactly what a demon would say.'
Housing affordability remains strained, the broader economy continues its sluggish shuffle forward, and the Fed offers little relief beyond vague reassurances that inflation is 'transitory' in the way that possession is 'temporary.' Ron closed the broadcast staring directly into the lens, unblinking. 'Homeownership: once a milestone, now a séance,' he said. 'I'm not going to sugarcoat this. I don't know how. I also don't know how to read a 30-year amortization schedule without weeping, but here we are.' Diane Yield, reached for comment afterward, simply sighed and said, 'It's just math, Ron.' Ron did not appear to believe her.
