APPEALS COURT RULES WHITE HOUSE HAS AN HOA, AND IT HAS SUBPOENA POWER
President discovers home renovations require permits even when the home is, technically, the entire country.
A federal appeals court on Friday halted construction of the President's planned $400 million White House ballroom, ruling that not even the leader of the free world can just wing it on a home addition without congressional sign-off. The order upholds a prior injunction and comes after contractors had already demolished a portion of the East Wing, including what sources describe as 'a perfectly innocent coat closet that never hurt anybody.'
Historic preservation counsel Miriam Vale called it a landmark moment for oversight. 'This is the first time in memory a co-equal branch of government has litigated drywall before doctrine,' Vale said, adjusting a binder labeled EXHIBIT A: BLUEPRINTS. 'Usually we wait until the building is finished to regret it.' The President vowed to appeal to the Supreme Court, telling reporters he was doing so 'on principle, and also because the caterer already has a non-refundable deposit and frankly so do I, emotionally.'
Meanwhile, the contracting crew has reportedly begun billing the delay itself as a line item, submitting an invoice labeled 'Patriotism Surcharge – Phase 1,' with a note promising Phase 2 will be even more patriotic and cost considerably more. Legal analysts say the case could set precedent for future presidential remodels, with one clerk noting the ruling technically makes the judiciary the first branch of government to care more about permit compliance than actual permits.
