MAN WHO INVENTED THE ROBOT KEEPS WARNING PEOPLE ABOUT THE ROBOT, INDUSTRY ORDERS ANOTHER ROUND
Geoffrey Hinton holds his fourth intervention this year; the industry responds by funding a bigger version of the problem.
Nobel laureate and self-described 'godfather of AI' Geoffrey Hinton once again warned this week that artificial intelligence is likely to cause massive unemployment, a statement industry leaders received the way a smoker receives a doctor's note, by nodding solemnly and stepping outside for another one. Three major labs responded to the warning by unveiling 'Hinton-compliant' layoff dashboards, which auto-generate personalized empathy emails to displaced workers at a speed and scale no human HR department could ever match.
Industry response has settled into a familiar rhythm: acknowledge the godfather, praise his wisdom, then quietly ask him if he'd like to invest in the next round. 'The concerns are extremely serious,' said Rhea Kwon, spokesperson for the fictional AI Progress Council, 'which is why we've scheduled a panel, catered lunch, and a significantly larger training run for next quarter.' Kwon added that the panel would likely be moderated by an AI, for efficiency.
Hinton, for his part, is reportedly workshopping a new, more urgent warning specifically about people ignoring his previous warnings, tentatively titled 'I Told You So, Continued.' Colleagues say he remains hopeful someone in a position of power will eventually listen, though he has quietly begun drafting his resignation from the intervention altogether, on the grounds that the industry keeps promoting him from 'concerned inventor' to 'beloved mascot.'
