HOLLYWOOD ANNOUNCES SUPERHERO FATIGUE CURED, TREATMENT WAS MORE SUPERHEROES

Spider-Man: Brand New Day stunned box office analysts this weekend by pulling in roughly $355 million domestically, a number so large it required its own currency exchange rate. Industry watchers who spent the last three years insisting audiences were 'exhausted' by capes, origin stories, and multiverses were seen quietly recalculating their exhaustion in light of nine-figure receipts. Sources confirm the fatigue has not been cured so much as buried under an avalanche of cash.

'We listened to what audiences said they wanted, which was fewer superhero movies, and we gave them exactly that, but slightly bluer, with better lighting, and priced at eighteen dollars a ticket,' said Chip Herrenvoss, Senior Vice President of Narrative Recycling at Sony Pictures. 'Turns out fatigue is less a creative crisis and more a marketing opportunity we hadn't fully monetized yet.' Herrenvoss added that focus groups reporting 'superhero burnout' were the same focus groups who pre-ordered tickets six weeks in advance.