GROWN MEN TRADE OTHER GROWN MEN FOR SPORT, NATION APPROVES
MLB's trade deadline turns human resources into a live TV auction, complete with graphics and regret.
Major League Baseball's trade deadline reached full frenzy this week as front offices around the league engaged in what can only be described as a fantasy draft with real feelings, shipping accomplished professionals across state lines based on spreadsheets and vibes. Pitchers who woke up in one city went to bed in another, their mortgages and children's school enrollments now someone else's problem. One rebuilding club's general manager summarized his philosophy simply: 'Sell everyone who's good, keep everyone who's cheap, hope.' It is, astute observers noted, also the business model of several major airlines.
Fans of selling teams have responded with the specific grief of watching a favorite employee get walked out by security, except this employee can still be watched striking out opposing hitters on television for a division rival. 'We didn't lose a player,' explained one team's fictional press liaison, 'we acquired future assets, which is a phrase that means absolutely nothing to a father explaining to his son why the good pitcher is gone.' Sports radio, meanwhile, has become a nationwide grading system where furious men assign letter grades to transactions they had no part in and will not remember by Thursday.
