SENATE SCRAPS ANTI-WEAPONIZATION FUND TO SPEED WEAPONIZATION NOMINEE THROUGH
Committee disarms the smoke detector, praises the building's excellent fire safety record.
The Senate Judiciary Committee advanced the nomination of the Acting Attorney General on a party-line vote Thursday, after the nominee agreed to the one condition holdouts actually cared about: killing a fund designed to prevent the Justice Department from being weaponized. The committee's internal memo described the move as 'streamlining overlapping vigilance tools,' a phrase that appeared, without apparent irony, two sentences after a passage praising the panel's commitment to 'vigorous oversight of executive power.'
'The fund was redundant,' said a committee aide who asked not to be named, possibly because saying it out loud made it sound worse. 'The Department already weaponizes itself at no extra charge. This just removes the gift shop.' Asked whether eliminating the only formal check on weaponization might send a signal, the aide clarified that the signal being sent was 'confirm him already,' and that any other signal was purely incidental.
The nomination now heads to the full Senate, where a vote is considered a formality, much like the hearing that preceded it, the negotiation that preceded that, and the smoke detector that used to hang, technically still screwed into the ceiling, wires clipped, blinking its little red light for nobody.
