ICE UNVEILS G.L.O.V.E., THE HANDSHAKE THAT PRESSES CHARGES
DHS spends up to $20 million on shock gloves it insists are 'de-escalation tools,' not tiny electric punishments.
The Department of Homeland Security this week confirmed plans to spend up to $20 million equipping ICE officers with G.L.O.V.E.s — an acronym so committed to sounding like a supervillain's origin story that officials reportedly considered adding a laser and just calling it a day. The device delivers a targeted electric shock to encourage compliance, which is one way to describe it, the other way being 'a taser that had to get a real job.'
Compliant Technologies, the gloves' manufacturer, insists the branding is accurate and the product is fundamentally about communication. 'The shock is a conversation, not a punishment,' said company spokesperson Deb Halloran, in the calm, reassuring tone of someone who has never once been on the receiving end of that particular conversation. Asked whether the gloves could simply be called 'shock gloves,' Halloran clarified that 'de-escalation tool' tested better with focus groups, and also with lawyers.
Budget analysts note that $20 million could instead purchase roughly 2 million pairs of completely ordinary, non-electrified gloves — enough to keep every officer's hands warm and legally uncomplicated through several winters. DHS maintains the electrified version is worth the premium because, as one internal memo reportedly put it, 'a firm handshake doesn't scale.' The gloves are expected to roll out early next year, pending a public-comment period that several observers have already described, with visible reluctance, as 'shocking.'
